(Disclaimer: This is a work of satire.)
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In an unprecedented development in the Panamagate hearings, a five member bench of the Court has concluded that ‘Yeh Bik Gayi Hai Gormint’ and added that ‘ab iss gormint mein kuch nahi bacha‘. This development came after extensive hearings during which the court accepted the argument proposed by the honorary counsel.
The assertion was made as a matter of fact, leading to speculation that there is nothing that can be done about the matter as this ship has clearly sailed. Although there were other parts to the testimony, the Supreme Court chose to censor certain parts of the argument from its report to avoid the nation looking like this:
The Court also recognized that it had before, in the Asif Khakwani case, noted that it was no secret that Nawaz Sharif (and almost every parliamentarian) was neither Sadiq nor Ameen. However it was truly uncalled for when Hon’able Justice reasoned that this was due to the fact that very few people in parliament were named Sadiq as well as Ameen (with speaker of the house Ayaz Sadiq only narrowly missing out on that honour).
This represents a major landmark for the Supreme Court who has now ascertained that the gormint has indeed been sold and now can move on to important questions such as how much it has been sold for and whether a family business can really ever be sold.