Dear Asad, I need some more information about SEX

Dear Asad,


Article continues after the advertisement

I am a blogger in Pakistan trying to get views on my content but it is so hard to do so without sex being the subject. Who would have known that Pakistan was fertile ground for clickbait content? As a result, serious pieces like those for the protection of minorities are overshadowed by articles like “Am I immoral if I have feelings for my husband?”

Asad: Not much can be done about this except perhaps writing an article about how studying in a private institution in Pakistan can make the student secular beyond repair. Alternatively, one can write about drug use in such institutions and I can assure you that drug news makes for sensational headlines.

 

Dear Asad,

I am a first-year student at Iqra University and I have a very serious problem. I have been given a form to record my biodata and am unsure what to specify in the bracket labelled ‘sex’. Although I have never really had sex with a woman, I am not entirely sure what counts as a sexual act and I was hoping you would be able to help me with what to write on my biodata form.

Asad: This is a very serious issue that several students from Peshawar have asked me about. Even I am not sure what to specify but when faced with the question personally, I respond with “1 time but incomplete”. My thinking is that just to be safe, more information should be given than may be needed (also I love talking about sex).

 

Dear Asad,

I am an 8-year-old Male Labrador retriever who is developing feelings for a young German Shepherd across the road.  She is only 3 years old and I have been warned by my colleagues against such a relationship considering our age difference is 35 in dog years. Moreover, I have been told that she is a bit of a bitch.

Asad: Hey pupper, don’t let your friends and family dissuade you from true love. Age is just a number that doesn’t really matter (except that it does) and as far as her being a bitch is concerned, welcome to the world of love.

Share:
Zeeshan Iftakhar

Zeeshan Iftakhar

Zeeshan Iftakhar is a student of Law at LUMS and a keen admirer of qeemay walay naan.