Mind Your I's & U's

03:15 PM | 14 Dec, 2017
Mind Your I's & U's
Most of us spend at least a good part of our day, and a good part of the night too, in writing text messages on cell phones. Most of the time, one of the two parties is firing messages at a very rapid pace. That may be due to rush, anger, suspicion, better coordination of fingers, flexible thumbs or just for the heck of it.

Just like in older times some people would talk fast, and a significant part of such talk had insignificant nonsense, in the post-WhatsApp times, some people type fast. No, no, I won’t say the same to their content because typing fast doesn’t mean they are saying a lot. Mostly, ‘fast-typers’ of texts complete one sentence in 6 or 7 volleys, that too if the sentence is brief, e.g., ‘I don’t think so’ or ‘I’m not sure’.

This onslaught of messages-by-parts reminds one of the bursts of an automatic pistol, if not Kalashnikov. I don’t like to use violent metaphors, but this one is pertinent. As we see in movies (that’s the only place where I have seen such bursts), only a few bullets hit the target. If a hero is being shot at, all bullets are dodged.

Quite like the bullets that do not hit the target, our fingers often hit the adjacent and the wrong keys, giving the resulting word an entirely different meaning. On top of that, if the cell phone has an auto-spell or auto-correct function on, the soup thickens and the auto-correct adds irony to an error.

I find the hide-n-seek between auto-correct and manual straightening amusing as well as confusing. Amusing, you all know why, but confusing because I suspect an intelligent and naughty design behind the apparently politically neutral algorithms: Try typing COAS, and the auto-correct will suggest chaos.

I discovered this recently when reflecting on COAS’s advice to the PM to deal with the dharna prudently. I got chaos for COAS and fool for cool. The letter c is right beneath f, like a boot to democracy in Pakistan.

That’s where a starred addendum comes very handy, and I ended up sending two: *COAS (not chaos), and *cool (not a fool). But I guess by then the damage was done and a discovery had been made.

When I was in school, an Urdu verse intrigued me a lot. But like most of the intelligent things in my life, I was one able to decipher and enjoy it after I left the university:

"Ik nuqte ne mehrm se mujrum bna dya/ hum dua likhte rahe voh dagha parrhte rahe"

Applying this verse to the above example, we can dare translate: ‘One C that I didn’t see effed up the compliment / I wrote cool, but they got fool’. Beware of the autocorrect tool and careless digiting.

The purpose of this piece is to caution you, my dears. In older times, to caution you from inadvertent errors and mistakes, they would say: ‘Mind your Ps and Qs’. But since P & Q are literally poles-apart on the cell phones’ keyboard, it’s time to mind other letters.

Now that FIA, IB, ISI, MI, CID, and rest of the sensitive agencies are all set to perform the insensitive job of snooping at Facebook, Viber, WhatsApp and whatnot, we must mind our Is & Us, in particular.

Allegations of compromising national security and committing blasphemy aside, speed typing and wrong lettering can cause social anarchy in our intimate relations and marital harmony too.

I, therefore, would like to give some tips. First, turn off the autocorrect function. With that, at least one demon would be put to rest. Two, either type slowly or read a message before sending. Particularly, if you are a man with even vague and meek propensity of harassment - re-reading is better than recalling.

For instance, in ‘open the gate’, h is highly likely to replace g in the last word, and you will get instant hate because you asked for it. Similarly, be extra careful while cursing your ‘fate’, and don’t type ‘date’.

A friend once almost fatally wrote to his wife, ‘she is in my lust’ as he fumbled on u in place of i. If you nitpick here and like to invoke ‘Freudian Slip’, I wouldn’t mind much but it may be a harsher judgment.

Similarly, while telling your beau that you’re watching a live show, make sure she doesn’t get ‘love show’, and while sharing a planning type text about your son, don’t end up confessing ‘Our Sin’.

After all, premonition is the first step towards prevention.

Arshed Bhatti
Arshed Bhatti

Arshed Bhatti is a typical Pakistani who operates at very high level of confidence with extremely low level of knowledge. Being true Muslim he believes the real life is in the hereafter and urges countrymen to take it easy, and ...


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Dollar Rate in Pakistan Today

On Tuesday, the dollar was being quoted at 285.1 for selling and 288.15 for buying purposes for customers.

Euro price moves down by Rs2 to 312 for buying and 315 for selling. British Pound rate stands at 358.5 for buying, and 362 for selling after increase.

UAE Dirham AED stands at 78 whereas the Saudi Riyal also witnessed fall and new price stands at 76.25.

Today's currency exchange rates in Pakistan - 28 November 2022

Currency Symbol Buying Selling
US Dollar ‎USD 285.1 288.15
Euro EUR 312 315
UK Pound Sterling GBP 358.5 362
U.A.E Dirham AED 78 78.75
Saudi Riyal SAR 76.25 77
Australian Dollar AUD 186 187.5
Bahrain Dinar BHD 759 767
Canadian Dollar CAD 208 210
China Yuan CNY 39.93 40.33
Danish Krone DKK 41.88 42.28
Hong Kong Dollar HKD 36.24 36.59
Indian Rupee INR 3.39 3.5
Japanese Yen JPY 1.55 1.63
Kuwaiti Dinar KWD 916.38 925.38
Malaysian Ringgit MYR 60.38 60.98
New Zealand Dollar NZD 173.44 175.44
Norwegians Krone NOK 26.25 26.55
Omani Riyal OMR 741.26 749.26
Qatari Riyal ‎QAR 77.63 78.33
Singapore Dollar SGD 210 212
Swedish Korona SEK 26.93 27.23
Swiss Franc CHF 323.37 325.87
Thai Bhat THB 8 8.04

Gold price in Pakistan moves up amid positive global cues; Check today gold price here

KARACHI – Gold continues to move upward in local market amid surge in international rates.

Gold Rates in Pakistan Today - 28 November 2023

On Tuesday, the single tola of 24 Karat gold was available at Rs217,600, and the price for 10-gram gold saw increase of Rs943 to reach Rs186,557.

Globally, yellow metal went up by $12 to settle at $2,015 per ounce.

Last week, per tola gold price increased by Rs800 per tola, and it hovers around two month high.

Today Gold Rate in Pakistan

City Gold Silver
Lahore PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Karachi PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Islamabad PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Peshawar PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Quetta PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Sialkot PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Attock PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Gujranwala PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Jehlum PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Multan PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Bahawalpur PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Gujrat PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Nawabshah PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Chakwal PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Hyderabad PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Nowshehra PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Sargodha PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Faisalabad PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600
Mirpur PKR 217,600 PKR 2,600


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