Who really leaked the Hussain Nawaz photo?

It is unfortunate that national politics in Pakistan is rarely free of needless controversy. However, we are fortunate, in the same breath, considering that the form of these controversies sometimes involve the Prime Minister’s son appearing like a 10-year-old who has freshly lost his ice cream to the ground.

For a comedic journalist, such an image is a reward in itself; only comparable to the spectacle witnessed as Sahir Lodhi was put in his place by Pakistani Twitter for his misplaced patriotism.

When they tell you that they are out of qeemay walay naan

Regardless, the question on everyone’s lips right now is who leaked this precious photograph, given that these proceedings are of a highly sensitive nature (not unlike the health of our little prince). Hence this article will seek to investigate who indeed is responsible for this unpardonable leak and while this inquiry will be more like a game of Cluedo than an actual investigation, I ask you to bear with me.

Suspect #1: Imran Khan and PTI

Imran Khan stands as an obvious suspect, given his political investment in this entire fiasco. But then again, if he was so influential, would he be waiting on the sidelines? Moreover, (Senator?) Nihal Hashmi very aptly demonstrated who was responsible for paying the salaries of the Joint investigation team and it was certainly not Imran Khan.

Suspect #2: Nawaz Sharif and PML-N

While this possibility is highly unlikely, strange circumstances compel me to seriously consider it. However, this image could serve to illustrate that the Prime Ministers son came to testify despite fasting (a superhuman feat that should be commended on monumental levels). In terms of who is responsible for releasing this image, it is possible that this could be yet another leak from Maryam Nawaz Pervez Rashid for reasons that can only be surmised in this clip from one of my favourite movies.

Suspect #3: Joint Investigation Team itself

Who else has access to such classified information but the investigators themselves? If that is the case, we can only excuse them for sharing (with the nation) the misery of trying to extract an impossible confession from an allegedly corrupt individual. At least we know that they are doing their job.

Suspect #4: Captain Naveed, Master of the Hidden Camera

Although this individual has many aliases apart from the title of ‘Master of the Hidden Camera’, they may be too obscene to disclose. Moreover, it is hard to suspect anyone apart from the captain when a secret video surfaces in which the subject is being violated; oh Captain, my Captain. If it is proven that Naveed was indeed the individual behind this leak, it is likely that the punishment will involve taking aff his shirt (although at this point, contempt of that order is all but certain).

While it may remain conclusively unclear who indeed it was that leaked this amazing photograph of a humble(d) Hussain Nawaz, whoever did so is clearly a lover of subjecting powerful people to internet-based ridicule. The photograph (as demonstrated above) is a meme makers goldmine as it can be used to represent our young prince expressing his dismay at the lack of various fried food. People from all over Pakistan can relate to this expression as it also serves as a reaction to a session of parentally enforced chittar.

Zeeshan Iftakhar

Zeeshan Iftakhar

Zeeshan Iftakhar is a student of Law at LUMS and a keen admirer of qeemay walay naan.