Chinese in the Cockpit – Marhaba!

Pakistan is undoubtedly a great country, but I doubt if majority deserves it. They are ungrateful and fake Pakistanis.

You will be as sorry to know it as I am while revealing, the hitherto well-guarded secret: A big majority of Pakistanis are fake. They live in urban centres, and almost none of them voted in the last elections. How is he, who does not vote, not a fake Pakistani?

If you wonder what’s the most current benchmark of ungrateful Pakistanis! Very simple. All those who felt jealous, and red in the face with fake anger, on hearing the Chinese lady graced the cockpit of PIA’s plane, are the ungrateful fakes.

Tell me if you were that pilot (Let’s call the gracious gentleman aziz Pilot), and pure patriot type Pakistani holding that China was the best thing that happened to us in 1947, and is continuously happening ever since. And you incidentally got in the way of the friendly glance of beauty from the most trusted of national allies, what would you do? Miss your flight! Never.

Exactly. Being a pilot, you can’t miss a flight. You can hand it over to a novice co-pilot and take a nap, but only after taking off. Being the pilot you cannot miss the flight. Aziz pilot hardly had a choice, but to invite her to the cockpit.

But it’s not the heart of the matter. As they say for epic political events, real things are behind the things. The real reason of celebrations is not what happened in the cockpit, which is any way hyperbole of assumptions of pervert minds of fake Pakistanis. The real reason is what went right just before, and which is all set to replicate itself at scale in future.

At times, an apparently small gesture changes the course of history. I believe, this Chinese-in-the-cockpit was that watershed moment which heralded a new era of spontaneous and raw intimacy. History of Pak-China bonding will be divided between the pre-cockpit and post-cock-pit eras. Like, World is a new place after 9/11 mishap, Pak-China amity saw anew beginning post-cockpit rendezvous.

It is beginning of a renaissance which will do us what the older renaissance did to Europe!

Here a well-deserving side note. No news is happy news for Pakistanis unless it saddens half as many as it pleases. Actually, we would happily call a news ‘happy’ if it doesn’t please anyone, including ourselves, but it successfully miffs and hurts the folks we don’t like!

Now, as if our political closeness with China was not enough of a thorn in the side, centre and rear of Pakistan’s enemies (outside) and their proxies (inside), this epic gesture of intimacy worked like an arrow of cupid which went astray and pierced the wrong hearts. Yes, Indian hearts, Afghani hearts, and fake Pakistanis hearts.

Thank God, Trump was busy in his mess at home. Otherwise, he may have dismissed aziz Pilot on twitter to divert media hype that followed Director Comey’s dismissal.

Back to the heart of the matter. I believe in post-cockpit times ahead, Chinese will help us open the cockpits of our minds, and make us shed socio-religious rigidities that stymied our progress as a truly modern nation. There are a million possibilities, but I will count a few. Our fundamental fixation for halal will relax. In Super Market, Islamabad, a Chinese superstore is selling pork, but not to fake Pakistanis.

As one line in the movie Mummy – alluding the epic rising of vamps – put it, ‘Its just the beginning’. Imagine 2040, and generations of Pak-China intimate progressive bonding, and ensuing cultural pluralism, with no mullahs and no fake Pakistanis around!

Marhaba. Welcome China, to the cockpits of our hearts and souls.

Arshed Bhatti

Arshed Bhatti

Arshed Bhatti is a typical Pakistani who operates at very high level of confidence with extremely low level of knowledge. Being true Muslim he believes the real life is in the hereafter and urges countrymen to take it easy, and enjoy the talk shows. He writes songs, satire and fake non-fiction. He tweets @CivilJunction