The party is over, well almost!

  • This Ramzan, our publicly maligned but privately revered devil had a grand party.

This time the holy month of Ramzan (for Saudized newbies, Rum-Daan) has been the most eventful in the last 25 years that I clearly remember. This time all that we witnessed, participated in, ignored or applauded at ranged from borderline unholy to outright ugly.

Traditionally, this month was considered holy because almost everything every Muslim used to do, would be done in a low key manner. Humility would be the most pronounced virtue, followed by a quiet charity and a sense of continuous worship in heart. No more of those oldies my dearies. We are in a age of hyper-frenzy, and poor Ramzan could not change us a bit.

This Ramzan, nationally, regionally and internationally, was wholly full of the sensational, bad, ugly and the unholy. It was so full of the wrong and the awful that it wholly looked like a Trump speech!

The only holy thing was of course our defeating India in CT17, which was as sensational as it gets.

I will come in a bit to the point of the ‘Party’ which the title suggests is about to be over. First, let us go through the highlights of the things which no Muslim in their right heart or right mind would have liked to happen in Ramzan.

Here, please note that every Muslim has at least two hearts, and though very few of us have a mind, all those who have one, don’t like to use it when fasting. You can only do one thing at a time, either fast or use mind. So, in Ramzan, most of us with a mind enjoy a never-mind state! May be we feel if we used our mind, the devil will have a party! And, precisely that lets the devil have a devilish party.

One evidence of not-using our mind is the way we eat in Ramzan. The way we consume in Iftari and then are ready for sehri in a few hours, tells that all we use in this month is our stomach. Not heart, nor mind. As if our hyper gluttony at iftari was not enough of disrespect of the spirit of this month, we let our religiosity and faith put on cheap sale in the TV shows too.

In the other eleven months we are practically Muslims, i.e., we practice what we can. In this month, we are loudly Muslims, i.e., we advertise our being Muslims more than we are. We wear religion on our sleeves and foreheads so much that our hearts become empty of any piety or purity.

This Ramzan we wholeheartedly gave in to the devil who was supposed to be incarcerated. As you know the devil is the devil, he can be many things and at many places simultaneously. So this Ramzan, our publicly maligned but privately revered devil had a grand party.

So Mr Devil appeared in at least five Ramzan shows on TV, and one of them he did himself, in the garb of Mr. Amir Liaqat. By the time PEMRA realized it was not him but someone in his body who was offering aeroplanes, and stopped the show, it was too late.

Similarly, those who bloodied Quetta and Parachina had a party with the devil. Earlier in Kabul too, what happened in Ramzan was unbecoming of the holy month.

Now, as far as Mr Warraich’s column of the same title goes, I guess it will take a while before the party is over. This Parliament too will complete its term unless the PM calls snap elections. In case he is considering so, while in the UK he should have seen Mrs May, the UK PM, and ask her about snap elections which almost had her snapped.

The only good thing in this – or any Ramzan – is that the iftar party becomes the best and most inclusive political party in Pakistan. May we have more of those parties and they are never over.

The Devil’s party is over, well almost. Happy ending of Ramzan and happy Eid to those who think after such an awful series of events there is or can be something happy in this Eid too.

Arshed Bhatti

Arshed Bhatti

Arshed Bhatti is a typical Pakistani who operates at very high level of confidence with extremely low level of knowledge. Being true Muslim he believes the real life is in the hereafter and urges countrymen to take it easy, and enjoy the talk shows. He writes songs, satire and fake non-fiction. He tweets @CivilJunction