General Raheel Sharif to retire after 2019 world cup

After another loss for Pakistan cricket team in their tour of New Zealand, General Raheel Sharif has decided to extend his term to the 2019 world cup in England and Wales. As always, the news was forecast by political mystic Najam Sethi by means of his trademark ‘Chirya’ (although considering Sethis role in the PCB as of late, it should arguably be called ‘Kawwa’).

The chief has been especially concerned about the fielding of the team in recent years but the middle order void left open by the departure of Misbah is one that can only be filled by someone with experience. The Chief was especially concerned regarding the decision to send Azhar Ali as opener but said that he admired the current captain as a man of high morals, but unfortunately a substandard batsman. Now there is Shoaib Malik whose links with India can never be forgotten and a couple of rookies whom the Chief acknowledged in his statement.
“You have Babar Azam scoring the runs and who the hell is Sohaib Maqsood?”

The situation is precocious, as it has been often in the post-Inzamam era, and at a time when the seniors in the squad include characters such as Ahmed Shahzad, whose renown is scattered rather generously on Instagram and Snapchat, there is need for discipline within the men in green. Regarding Muhammad Aamir, the Chief elaborated that there has been much corruption in cricket in recent years and it is important to curb Indian influence that has been so overwhelming since the advent of the Indian Premier League.

The press conference was held at the Qaddafi stadium there was no lack of government representation at the event, with the Prime minister present and Interior Minister Chaudhry Nisar and Defense Minister Khwaja Asif even spotted bowling to the Chief. The Chief was rather adamant to point out that these were merely ‘try balls’ and so Nawaz Sharif would have to wait for his batting.

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Regarding the question (that should be) on every Pakistanis mind, of whether an extension is constitutional or not, the chief produced this photo and said:

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“DO YOU THINK THIS IS CONSTITUTIONAL? DO YOU?”

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Zeeshan Iftakhar

Zeeshan Iftakhar

Zeeshan Iftakhar is a student of Law at LUMS and a keen admirer of qeemay walay naan.