Who needs a Prime Minister?

  • This historic verdict of 28th July, which disqualified another 'corrupt' and 'anti-State' PM, tells us six things

First of all, I am yet again feeling a proud and euphoric Pakistani, for the 20th time in the last two years, who like another 199 million Pakistanis is deeply grateful to God for bestowing upon us such honest, patriot, non-corrupt, and caring judges, who have produced another historic verdict.

If it were left to us, we would have fetched rotten pieces like elected politicians, and dozen-a-dime banal verdicts. Its only because of God that we got in superior judiciary what we have. How can we mortals gather such shining lights who can look far and deep into the future, with enviable precision, and can look after our national interest more than the entire nation put together.

Earlier, this huge burden of ‘national interest’ was carried by the weak shoulders of our strong generals. Now they have got solid partners, a well deserved reinforcement. Earlier there was one National Institution whose competence, insight, honestly and patriotism were above board. Now there are two. Such twos are in fact eleven, who like our resurgent cricket team will win more exciting matches, and make us more euphoric and proud Pakistanis.

This historic verdict of 28th July, which disqualified another corrupt and anti-State PM tells us six things. First, its only a few fake Pakistanis who are not happy with this historic verdict. They wanted more of JIT-type public humiliation of the PM. After all, the delight of continuous public undressing is far greater than short-lived and abrupt climax of their punishment and ouster.

Second, we now can boast of having the best superior judiciary in the world. Before, we only had the best Army. This shows how the key institutions of our State are mutually inspiring and progressing.

Third, some people are very slow learners. They don’t get it in one or two ousters. It’s then necessary to teach them the same lesson again, like rote-learning, which is imperative to learn by heart in Pakistan. Hope the third time Ex-PM has learnt something. You never know, he’d be back again a fourth time just to prove that he actually learnt something and could pass the full-term test the fourth time.

Fourth, our superior judiciary is the world champion in historic verdicts. All they have given are historic verdicts, one after another, in the last 40 years. It is impossible for any judiciary in the world to beat us. Particularly, in the ‘get-prime-ministers’ category of verdicts. Even if there is a world-eleven of judiciaries, this record cannot be bettered or beaten.

An historic verdict in justice is like a sixer over a bowler’s head in test cricket. Can you imagine the thrill of having a player who only hits sixes, and doesn’t get out either? That is our great superior judiciary.

Now that they have perfected the art of historic verdicts, hope we see regular shots of proper, small and accurate verdicts too. And, they also clear the back log of 50,000 cases before the next elections.

Fifth, to be a PM in Pakistan who completes term, you must be Sadiq or Ameen. Its good news for Sadiqs and Ameens of Pakistan. We got rid of the PM because the JIT actually told SC that not only he was not Sadiq or Ameen, he did not have any relative with those names either. That’s a big reason of his ouster.

Here, a candid advice for aspiring PM’s. If your parents did not name you either, consider being a poet with pen-name of Sadiq or Ameen, or names like Sameen, Sidiqui, Sadiqain or Musadiq.

Therein lies a message for the PML-N. Consider making the NA Speaker the next PM. Not only he has the right name, which is icing on the cake, but he would add necessary salt to the wounds of IK, as his being PM would hurt IK far more and for far long than the satisfaction he got from the PM’s disqualification.

But the above five are smaller bits of the grand good news. The sixth bit is the mega-meta good news, i.e., Pakistan doesn’t need a Prime Minister.

You got me right. We all saw how celebratory and peaceful day and night we had without a PM after the historical verdict. All a PM does is irritate the Army and miff thesuperior judiciary. These petty tasks can be done by anyone in the media too. So why have a PM for such unnecessary and avoidable motions?

Our judiciary can help the bureaucracy run this country with their abundant judicious oversight, and our Army can lend a hand to judiciary to ensure a smooth execution. So take it easy folks.

Thank you honourable judges for your foresight and revealing this insight. Who needs a PM in Pakistan?

Arshed Bhatti

Arshed Bhatti

Arshed Bhatti is a typical Pakistani who operates at very high level of confidence with extremely low level of knowledge. Being true Muslim he believes the real life is in the hereafter and urges countrymen to take it easy, and enjoy the talk shows. He writes songs, satire and fake non-fiction. He tweets @CivilJunction