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Moonlighting of the Moonstruck

09:45 PM | 30 Jul, 2019
Moonlighting of the Moonstruck
I have not personally felt so thrilled and amused with any news coming from Pakistan this year as with the announcement that we shall be sending one of our very own to the moon.

Please do not be swayed by the title of this piece. It is in fact a serious proposal to our dear Chaudhary of Science and Technology regarding who and how to select suitable boys for a Moon trip.

Since Chaudhary & Minister denote the same role and power, they are interchangeable. It will be superfluous to write both in the same sentence. I learnt this when media called our first rock-star CJ, ‘Justice Chaudhary’, instead of referring his lordship ‘Chief Justice’.

In Pakistan, a Chaudhary is a Chaudhary whether he holds an office or not. And if/when he gets one, the office is secondary to innate chaudhrahat. Probably, that’s why we did not have many Chaudharies as COAS, for this is one office that can make anyone a Chaudhary.

Here I am assisting the Minister with certain tips how to select the batch of 50 for the Moon.

Moon as a metaphor of beauty, charm and dearness is part of our poetry, literature, culture, popular songs, intimate bonds, and exaggerations. It holds significant mention in our religious folklore (shaq’ulqamar). So Muslims' trip to the moon is long overdue and could not have been left to a future generation. The timeliness of this step is deeply commended.

Moon has a different atmosphere than the earth, that most of us know. There are many places on earth that give moon-like experience, which not many outside Pakistan know. This is our first secret strength. To train our moon-walkers we don’t need to rent NASA labs. We can do it here.

That said and done; let’s delineate other parameters to select persons for the moon trip.

The persons, to begin with, must be enamored with the Moon, i.e., a few poets who used the moon in their creative works must be in. As it’s ‘national enterprise’, it must be representative of Pakistan’s diversity. So a few from all regions. It must also ensure gender representativeness; so 15 females, and at least 5 who have ticked ‘other’ in the gender column on their CNIC.

Don’t confuse it or term it quota, call it affirmative action ensuring social inclusion.

In the last 60 years, since space exploration programs got kick-started by the former USSR and USA, we have many ‘good examples’ to ameliorate and replicate.

Anyone going to space must have rigorous training and thus the requisite resilience to survive and thrive in space or a natural social-aptitude to have fun up there.

We are hugely blessed in the second arena. We have millions of individuals who are affectionately called ‘jhaaz’ (aeroplane): they appear to be on earth while actually levitating Moon’s orbit due to the power of pure ‘chars’.

My valuable advice is, 25 participants must be ‘charsis’, so that they can offer the other half essential psycho-social and metaphysical orientation (rationalist fools call it ‘disorientation’).

The group must have two religious persons from the right sects who can timely pray and seek divine help in case technology fails. We can borrow either the songwriter or the model of ‘Baby Doll’ from India, who claimed in that delightful song that Moon talked to them.

Lastly, re the technology. If the government announces competition prize, our talented people can even improvise an autorickshaw within 3 months, which could successfully reach, scavenge and collect samples from the darkest alleys of the Moon.

Else, we can ask Chinese for a ride - the same way as passing vehicles offer a ride on police’s behest to strangers at security kiosks.

Moon is waiting, let's move beyond moon-sighting, and enjoy some moonlighting.

Arshed Bhatti is a typical Pakistani who operates at very high level of confidence with extremely low level of knowledge. Being true Muslim he believes the real life is in the hereafter and urges countrymen to take it easy, and enjoy the talk shows. He writes songs, satire and fake non-fiction. He tweets @CivilJunction


Currency Rates in Pakistan Today - PKR to US Dollar, Euro, Pound, Dirham, and Riyal - 21 April 2024

Pakistani currency remains unchanged against US Dollar and other currencies on April 21, 2024. US dollar was being quoted at 277.5 for buying and 280.5 for selling.

Euro stands at 293 for buying and 296 for selling while British Pound hovers at 342.25 for buying, and 345.65 for selling.

UAE Dirham AED was at 75.20 and Saudi Riyal's new rate was at 73.30. 

Today’s currency exchange rates in Pakistan - 21 April 2024

Currency Symbol Buying Selling
US Dollar USD 277.5 280.5
Euro EUR 293 296
UK Pound Sterling GBP 342.5 346
U.A.E Dirham AED 75.2 75.9
Saudi Riyal SAR 73.3 74.05
Australian Dollar AUD 181 182.8
Bahrain Dinar BHD 740.55 748.55
Canadian Dollar CAD 201 203
China Yuan CNY 38.47 38.87
Danish Krone DKK 39.78 40.18
Hong Kong Dollar HKD 35.53 35.88
Indian Rupee INR 3.33 3.44
Japanese Yen JPY 1.86 1.94
Kuwaiti Dinar KWD 903.11 912.11
Malaysian Ringgit MYR 58.08 58.68
New Zealand Dollar NZD 164.22 166.22
Norwegians Krone NOK 25.61 25.91
Omani Riyal OMR 723.2 731.2
Qatari Riyal QAR 76.45 77.15
Singapore Dollar SGD 204.5 206.5
Swedish Korona SEK 25.31 25.61
Swiss Franc CHF 305.47 307.97
Thai Bhat THB 7.56 7.71


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